JoNeS ToWn BoYz

Subject: Important New Gov't programs



Dear Fellow Citizens,


Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50
years of age and above on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the
SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as
Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants
&Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any
further by Congress..

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided
themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to
the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the
SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and
oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.

Nice Gunz, thanks for posting, love it.

Couldn't help myself brother

That's awesome! Kinda like how my Governor is treating the road situation here during our recent Blizzard(s)..I'm paraphrasing...just a bit

"I'd like to reassure Maryland residents that everything is FINE (Fooked In Neighborhoods Everywhere). The National Guard has everything under CONTROL (Complete Out-and-out Negligence Towards Rational Organized Leadership). I'm asking everyone to stay off the ROADS (Really Old And Dilapidated Streets) while we do our JOB (Jerk Off Buddies) and hope for some help from the FEDS (Fully Expect Destructive Spending). We will make it through this

I love that and I can only say Yikes!

Haa well put !